Blueberry Fool's comments had me thinking.
It is strange when you find out where people are at in their adult lives, and what their attitudes are to others. I have often found that people I thought were cool, or had their shit together in high school are now in dead end jobs, or have no idea where they are going in life.
Those kids who were bullies will often end up in the lower economic bracket.
(of course, I know that these are very broad generalisations, and I am not going to go into the whole social scientific reasoning behind them.)
You also often find that those who were in the outer (socially) or bullied, have developed the drive to get on with their lives.
Unfortunately, I am now finding that many of my high school acquaintances thought that I was "nice" and had my shit together. Hmmm...what does that mean for me?
Am I going to end up going nowhere? Have I found my own dead end job? I can honestly say that I have not ever really suffered the humiliation of being bullied at High School. I was never the centre of attention for any tough students who made life miserable for some of the other school kids.
I find myself at a stage in my life where I am nowhere near as successful as I think I should be. Should I be further ahead that I currently am? Should I blame my lack of success on the fact that I was never bullied? I never had the resentment belted into me. I never had that resentment to grab hold of in adult life, and turn it into a drive to win. Should I sue the school system for lack of character building experiences? Or should I just accept responsibility for myself and get on with life?
Somehow, I think the latter is the correct response. As with many other things in life, we have to look out for ourselves, but it doesn't hurt to help others along the way.
DPS
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5 comments:
Nah it's not that. It's more because people who get bullied tend to be geeks. And when they get out of high school they are now around adults, can choose their friends, and do subjects they want to do. So they blossom because fuckwits that used to hurt them are no longer in their lives making them feel bad. That and the fact that when a bully hits them they can do them for assault.
Read this essay. It's awesome. I agree with most of it.
nerds essay"
Besides man, success is dependent solely on perspective. You've a loving family and kewl kids and you're a funny decent intelligent dude. So by that rationale you are a complete success.
Now let's hug. Manly hugging with lots of patting to make it less romantic.
"I'm huggin' ya but I'm hittin' ya"
I'll have a look at that essay.
Meanwhile, my end position is basically that my life is my responsibility. I can not blame my shortcommings on someone (or something) else.
While I acknowledge that I am not as far ahead in life as I could be, I am not really complaining about it. I am pretty happy with my lot, at this point in time.
That's the spirit!
I'm still hug hittin' ya too.
Well, I had plenty of resentment to go around, but my 'ambition' has steadily shrunk as I've grown older (I'm not in your ball park, though, a measly twenty-five!)
I think it's an interesting thing comparing goals as a teenager with priorities as an adult.
I think when you're a teenager, the day-to-day details of life are either taken care of, or impossible to influence, so in some respects, the only fires you can stoke are your ambitions. It's also a useful means of differentiating yourself from the other teens, all doing the same thing, and I think identity is an important thing at that age.
Once you're older however, those details are controllable - moreover; they're important.
In competition with your ambitions, you now have the ambition to have a nice life, be able to buy/enjoy/have time for things you like etc. And I think a lot of people pursue that, I'm shooting for it at the moment, after a period of freelancing and pursuing my goals whilst living like a character from La Boeme.
I don't feel that I've sold - ironically, I feel like a sold out more pursuing my ambitions! I wouldn't let it get you too down, it sounds like you have a great family, and that's worth most things in my book.
Mikey that is a good essay that sure rings true to me (saved the URL)
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