Some arguments just aren't worth winning

One of the most important life lessons I have ever learnt was the simple truth that some arguments are not worth winning. Sometimes it doesn't matter how right you think you are, you lose more by pushing for the win than it is worth.

I witnessed an example of this today. The Hippie (see previous post) was breaking for a cup of tea. She was waiting for an "important phone call", and asked the rest of our (small) team, if the phone rings could we answer it, and get her. We all said yeah, sure, no prob. Unfortunately, her phone rang when we were all on other calls (it had to happen). No-one else moved, so I put my call on hold and started walking around to her desk. The phone stopped ringing before I could get to it. I was slightly miffed that no-one else moved as I am the furthest away from the Hippie's desk, but I let it slide. It wasn't really a big deal.

The Hippie got back from her herbal tea break. When I was done with my call, I let her know that her phone had rung, but we hadn't managed to get to it. She was annoyed that she had asked us to get the phone, but we had not managed to do it. It transpired that the "important phone call" was not work related at all, but was from some lady that was in meetings all day and only had a narrow window to call. A short argument followed. Not a full on shouting argument, but one of those annoying little arguments that consist of little sniping comments fired across the partitions. It didn't last long, and seemed to be resolved pretty quickly. Or so I thought.

A couple of hours later, the Hippie brought it up again, and seemed to feel that she just had to get her point across. She felt she was in the right, and couldn't let it go. What this did, though, was create a lot of tension within the team. Something that was not a big deal to most of us, became a big deal, and became a source of tension for the rest of the team.

Was it that important for the Hippie to express her view? Was the resultant tension worth the assertion of her side of things? I think not.

Is an argument worth winning? Well, that comes down to the weights of the two possible outcomes: What is so wrong about losing this argument, and what is so right about winning it? If there is no great personal disadvantage to losing an argument, and winning it may get a friend mad at you, then it is definitely not worth winning.

So what if you feel you've been inconvenienced, at least you still have a friendly team to work with.
-or-
So what if your team dislikes you a little bit, at least you let them know how inconvenienced you were.

Which option is worth it?

DPS